Frequently Asked Questions
It’s controversial. There isn’t a distinct place in the vagina known as the G-spot, and the exact region can vary from person to person. However, it is considered a pleasure point that stimulates powerful orgasms in those with a vagina, and has the potential to cause vaginal ejaculation. The G-spot can be located inside the vagina by inserting a finger, and using a ‘come here’ motion; although, not everyone likes this area to be touched (hence why there’s controversy over whether the area truly exists or not).
This depends a lot on how you define sex. Sex is not just vaginal intercourse. It can include the following activities and more:
vaginal sex
anal sex
hugging
kissing
any sexual touching
oral sex
exposing your body to another person
showing somebody pornographic images
and more!
Sex is pretty much anything that feels sexual.
The sex you personally find ‘easy’ will vary across individuals. Different positions within each type of sex may require more flexibility or strength than others which could make them ‘hard’ but there’s plenty out there to suit everyone’s abilities and needs so do some research! Stigma and pshychological elements can also effect what feels easier/more difficult. To find what is ‘easy’ may require experimentation with yourself, with sex toys or with a partner. At the end of the day, if you’re finding a type of sex difficult (and therefore not enjoying it) – whether it's vaginal, anal, oral or any other type then talk to your parnter about how you feel and decide whether you want to try again at another point or explore other options.
Check out The Sex Wrap podcast and Sexplanations Youtube videos (linked on our Resources Page) for more advice and tips!
There is this misconception around anal and vaginal sex; that the first time hurts. Sex doesn't ever have to be painful, even if it’s your first time. When aroused, the clitoris and penis get hard and the vagina walls smooth out and stretch. With regards to penis (or sex toy etc.) in vagina sex, if the person with the vagina is not relaxed this smoothing and stretching of the vagina won’t happen. Hense, sometimes vaginal sex might be painful. Using a water-based lubricant can help increase pleasure. Some people use saliva as their lubricant, but it is more watery than slippery and dries out quickly. One surprising benefit of a bit of lubrication? It can prevent infections. Friction from lube-less sex causes heat which encourages bacterial growth; so the less friction (and the more lube!) the better. Speaking of, less friction means you're less likely to break a condom, so lube can help prevent an "oops" moment later on. With anal sex, this again should not have to be painful first time. However, it is unlikely that you’ll be able to go straight in with a penis, toy or finger without forcing it which can be very uncomfortable. Instead you should work your way up, relaxing the anus, breathing and exploring with a pinky finger after a soapy shower. Again, the more lube the better!
An orgasm is a feeling of intense sexual pleasure. An orgasm can also be called ‘coming’ or ‘climaxing’.
For people with a vagina, during an orgasm, their genital muscles will have contractions. They can also have multiple orgasms close together. For people with a penis, the penis muscles also have contractions when orgasming, and semen ejaculates out of the penis. However, they’ll have to wait a little while before they can have another. Some fun facts from Medical News Today: Orgasms have multiple potential health benefits due to the hormones and other chemicals that are released by the body during an orgasm. Orgasms do not only occur during sexual stimulation. People of all genders can experience orgasm disorders. An estimated 1 in 3 men have experienced premature ejaculation. Trans people are able to orgasm after gender reassignment surgery. Medical professionals and mental health professionals define orgasms differently. We recommend you look at Bish's article "Why Can't I Orgasm" if you're concerned. https://www.bishuk.com/your-questions/ask-bish-i-cant-orgasm-at-all/ We also recommend exploring Sexplanations's YouTube videos on orgasms here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mV6JVo0w9s&list=PL_zdi3TflN9LsQPiDoYj0nzL6HV5lOdYR
Oral sex is anything involving contact with a mouth and another’s genitals. It includes sucking and licking of the anus/vagina/penis.
To prevent the spread of STIs, a dental dam (a sheet of latex) should cover the genitals.
NOTE: it’s important to know, despite the name ‘blowjob’, that blowing into a penis can actually be damaging.
There’s lots of ways to have sex with a girl without having a penis! By law, both you and your partner must be over 16 and consent to the sexual activity. Sex isn’t just ‘penis in vagina’. It’s lots of other things too. For example, sex can involve sex toys, fingering, stroking, kissing, touching, licking, and much more. You don’t have to have a penis in order to perform oral sex on someone else. You can also have sex with a partners vagina, or anus using fingers and toys.
There is no need to be embarrassed! Lots of people have sex and use sex toys, both by themselves and with others. However, if you are feeling a little shy (or don’t want people to question why you were seen walking into THAT shop) have no fear :) There are lots of online shopping options. For example, Ann Summers have a website which offers a wide range of sex toys for the individual, couple, or goup. On top of this, the packaging is discrete, so even when it gets delivered, they’ll be no way of knowing what’s inside or where it came from.
Certainly! Ask your teachers about getting us back to your school for more workshops, and even suggest the topics you'd like to learn about. In the mean time, check out our Resources Hub (https://warwicksexpression.wixsite.com/studentcompanion/resources-hub). There’s lots of helpful links to guide you to the answers yourself.
In brief though, oral sex involves the mouth on another person’s genitals. On a penis this if often referred to as a blowjob, on a vulva it is often called licking out, and on an anus: rimming. Anal sex can be anything from a finger(s), sex toy, or penis inserted into the anus. Similarly, vaginal sex is stimulating an individual by inserting a finger(s), sex toy, or penis into the vagina. Masturbation or "doing yourself" involves touching yourself in a way that makes you feel excited. This doesn’t have to mean touching your genitals though, lots of other places on your body can make you feel good too.